Wednesday, 13 June 2012

LL Daily - Day 2 - Ouch.

Wow. Morning! What a 24 hours. Have had headache since 4pm last night - seemed to ease before bedtime but then BANG woke at 5.32am with RAGING HEADACHE. Big heavy throbbing band across top of forehead. Drank water, peppermint tea and took 2 x aspirin and 2 x paracetamol and went back to sleep eventually with cool pack on my head also. Woke 1/2 an hour ago. Somewhat better but headache still there.


Have just had porridge FP and thankfully was okay. Sweet - which I needed. Ate it slowly after considering drinking it! Felt warm and soothing.


I will learn to appreciate the feeling of hunger - once the headache has gone.


I dreamt about it all last night! Was telling my friend about my first day's FPs (detail in yesterday's post) - & then I was shoppping for t shirts and looking forward to finding funky designer t's in sizes I could wear. Also found myself wondering if I can do skinny jeans and heels?? I am an apple shape and my legs are 'slim' even now. My excess fat is mainly abdominal. Will may frame still look too wide once I have lost weight? Surprised I am even thinking about this. I always say I don't care about that 'girly' clothes chat - was that because I felt fat??

BIG realisation in first 24hours - is that I don't have enough in my daily life that gives me enjoyment. & of course that's why I eat. Obvious. But when you take that actual 'pleasure' away the clarity of that hit me hard last night.


I have to rekindle friendships - I need to clear the depression that has let me isolate myself. More to come on this topic I think. Also thinking I need regular after work social contact. Exercise, volunteering - lots I can do.I have been in a well established rut of coming home - cooking, eating, eating again, watching TV in carb coma.


Unhealthy and ultimately unfulfilling so time to CHANGE. Feel like there's so much to address and I can't do it all at once! Still only 24 hours in - will chat this over with my Counsellor on Saturday.



More later I am sure - these ramblings are proving cathartic and a great diversion.

TFR x

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